Hello friends,
In past few daz dere was lots of discussion on "Expectations"...and believe me it never ends between me and my friend..
The very first question that arises is- What exactly is expectation??
Well as far as i feel "it is to believe that other person will do something without even telling that person that he/she has to do that thing".It is such an irony that many times it happens also...cos expectations are made on the basis of past experiences...it is build on the past actions/reactions of the individual..but when belief doesn't comes true it hurts the person very badly...
Our life is full of expectations either we are expecting something from the other or someone else is expecting something from us...
The very basic expectation arises between a child and his/her parents...both of them have their own expectation from each other..and this forms a strong bonding between them...and here the relation develops...and then different feelings of love,anger, happiness everything comes into existence...
When we are small we are taught so many things..after the things have been taught it is automatically expected out of us...and if we dont do it we even get punished for that..And this teaches us to fulfill other expectations..his thing continues in our whole life..Similar expectation always exist..even we also form the similar expectations...
It is the expectations that help us gain so many things in our life..It makes us a perfect person in whatever we do..the higher the expectations the better the result..A very famous quotation "Always aim for the sky, even if you miss you will land among stars"
It is so true and helps us in achieving our goals...Our goals are nothing but the expectations of ours from ourselves..
We start developing expectation from everyone we come through..We have expectations from our teacher, our friends, our colleagues and moreover we always expect general etiquettes from everyone(consciously or unconsciously)... Even if we meet any stranger and say hello to him we expect him to reply back...if he/she doesn't replies we dont like it..
When expectations are not fulfilled it results in all the negative waves inside us..We started complaining, feeling bad, hating and everything...At extreme cases it results in conflicts also..
The question that arises is why do we get hurt when someone doesn't fulfill our expectations...Can we really stop expecting in our life...?And how to control negative feelings when doesn't fulfill our expectations...
As far as i feel its all our creation and destruction..So it can be controlled by us..
I request readers to please give your views on the above questions...
Posts
don't know whether I am speaking right or wrong..but I feel that it is better to control our expectations(neither too high nor too low)rather than trying hard to control negative feelings which arise when expectations are not fulfilled
ReplyDeletehii neha..
ReplyDeletehappy 2 see such a nice speculation...
well here is what i believe..
it does hurt badly when someone doesn't fulfill our expectation.. but does that mean we have to stop expecting..? i guess our lives move on only with expectations.. when expectation stops, then what do we do the next morning we wake up? with nothing to expect, we have nothing to live for.. and when we want to live on, i believe, we should dare to expect..
so rather than asking whether we can stop expecting, it looks apt to ask whether we should stop expecting..
but always i wonder how love does that magic the other way.. when we love someone - parents, friends or anybody - our expectations are very less.. instead, we tend to fulfill their expectations..
the saying says,
"Love Thy Neighbour"
that controls the negative feelings too...
well from ur blog one thing which i can find out very easily is that u r becoming a very good student of OB...kudos 4 dat!!!
ReplyDeleteyour answers in my viewpoint:
we get hurt when someone doesn't fulfill our expectations is because when we do something good for someone we wish them also to think d same for us, n if not the same, at least upto some extent. If they dont do it, it really hurts...
we cannot stop expecting in our lives...it doesnt mean dat we r selfish when we want somebody to think abt us as well....its just dat we want people to care for us when we do care for dem....we all r human beings...i really wonder if someone can stop their expectations completely frm others..
well to control negative feelings, just think dat there r better times then dis for u...people who doesnt understands u today they r d one who doesnt fulfill ur expectations...so trust in god n leave everything on time...one day they will realize ur value n start caring for u as u do for them....
now when we cannot stop expecting frm others can we have a measuring criteria as to how much should we expect that we r not hurt?? Will dis criteria be different for friends, family, society etc?? let me knw ur viewpoints on this....
to sum up expect more frm urself den frm others...because belive it or not "Expectation Kills!!!" hope i hv not given a big gyan....n u wont reply me saying..."yaar apna gyan kahin aur ja ke do"....hehe...
@ujjawal
ReplyDeletethanks for ur ideas and gyan(as u said it)..
We cant have a measuring criteria for expectation but it is all done by us on the basis of our perception..we start expecting only when we start getting from others..once the other stops giving, it hurts us..
well its impossible to live without expectation but ya if we know that we got hurt by someone we can come out of it easily seeing as an expectation..cos someone can hurt us only when we expect something from him/her.
Thus friends, families and society all have different roles in our life and thus automatically expectations from them varies..